My Son Has a Girlfriend


Summary of Main Ideas

My 5 year old son Harrison told me the other day that he has a girlfriend.

You can imagine my shock and surprise. He’s 5. He’s not supposed to have girlfriends yet.

So I pressed him a bit. I asked him some details about this girl and this is what he said. “She doesn’t be mean. She doesn’t take other people’s snacks. She’s 4 years old. She does everything the teacher says.”


After I pressed him, I realized that I’m an idiot. My son wasn’t telling me he had a girlfriend. He was telling me that he had a friend who was a girl.


What he said and what he meant and what I heard were 3 different things.


This happens in life all the time.


Sometimes we don’t say what we mean. Maybe we’re afraid of what the other person might be thinking. Maybe we don’t like conflict, and so it’s easier to just go along with whatever is happening.  


Sometimes we don’t mean what we say. We say things out of emotion, or anger, or frustration.

Instead of responding, we react.


And sometimes we hear what we want to hear, not what the other person said. We forget that we have 2 ears and one mouth for a reason, and that maybe what we need to do is shut up and listen, not just wait for our turn to talk.


So this week, make sure that you mean what you say, say what you mean, and take the time to listen and understand what is being said.


“Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil” Matthew 5:37

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” James 1:19

Reflection Questions

  1. When was the last time that you just listened to someone? Not waiting for your turn to talk, but really listened?

  2. How does it feel when someone misunderstands you, or hears what you’re saying and misinterprets it?

  3. Where are you guilty of not letting your “yes” be “yes’ or your “no” be “no?”

  4. How have you reacted to a situation this week instead of responded? What could you have done better?