Commitment Issues


Summary of Main Ideas

We have a commitment problem.

There are all different types of commitment. Financial, emotional, spiritual, time, and relational, just to name a few. But no matter what the commitment, we have a commitment problem, and it’s one that seems to have emerged in the past few decades.

My dad worked the same job for 45 years. Same place, same job, same coworkers for 45 years. I recently met a security guard at a High School who had been doing the job for 32 years.

Those people made commitments to a place, and their actions have been informed by those commitments.

Think of the last time you saw an old friend and said the words, “Let’s catch up sometime.” That was a commitment. A statement of intent. But did you follow up? Did you connect? Probably not.

Why? Because your actions were informing your commitments, not the other way around.

When you are committed to the long term, it changes the way you operate in the short term. What we’re committed t o changes the way we act.

There are a lot of things in our lives that we are committed to not because they serve our long term interests, but because our actions are driving our commitments. We have this short sightedness. Our short term actions determine our long term commitments.

The people who are “action first” people are the first to quit. Why? Because as soon as something hard or unpleasant comes along, they decide they don’t need to commit to it and so they change their commitments.

But those people who are “commitment first” are the ones that never give up. They're the ones that say, “I don't’ care what i have to do because i’m committed to this goal. I don’t care what i have to do today because i’m committed to tomorrow.”

My wife and I decided a long time ago never to use the word “divorce” in reference to our marriage. Why? Because we are committed to spending the rest of our lives together no matter what. Because we’ve made that commitment, it has changed the way we fight, and how we disagree. We know that even if we have a huge fight (which doesn’t happen often) we can work through it and push through because neither of us is giving up.

This week, take inventory of the things you commit to. Ask yourself, “Am i commitment first or action first?”


"There's no abiding success without commitment.” Tony Robbins

“Commitment leads to action. Action brings your dream closer.” Marica Wieder

Reflection Questions

  1. Is there a relationship in your life in which you are “action-first?” What do you need to do to move that relationship to “commitment-first?”

  2. What have you given up on because of being “action-first?”

  3. Who in your life is modeling “commitment-first” for you, and how can you mirror them?