Summary of Main Ideas
We’re all going to experience pain.
It’s not a question of “if,” but a question of “when.” It’s been said before that every person on earth is either going through something tough, about to go through something tough, or just got out of something tough.
Pain looks different for everybody. Maybe it’s ridicule, bullying, divorce, abuse, or heartbreak.
Whatever it is, when you’re experiencing it, it’s the worst thing you can go through.
The fascinating thing is that 2 people can go through the exact same situation and come out of it completely differently.
One is crushed by their pain, while the other is catapulted by it.
Why is that?
I believe the answer lies in the response to the question, “What do you do with your pain?”
When we are passive about our pain, we develop a victim mentality. Our pain is something that’s happened TO us, and we are almost always crushed by it. We say things like “I just can’t win,” or “It’s not my fault!”
But the people who own their lives say “I didn't’ choose my cards, but i’m going to take ownership of how I play them.” They look at their pain, and then look inward and look at their core values. They import their values into the pain. They import purpose into the pain use it to move them forward and make them stronger.
Pain doesn’t come with a purpose. There is only the choice and opportunity to choose what you do with your pain.
Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me?” ask yourself “How am I going to respond to this?”
When you ask “Why did this happen to me?” you’re assuming this pain came with a purpose, and if you can’t make sense of it, it crushes you.
Put your own purpose into the pain. Respond by saying, “I may not know why it happened, but I do know how i’m going to use it.”
Don’t let your pain control you. Take control of your pain.
"We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons." Jim Rohn
"Life doesn't happen to you; life happens for you." Tony Robbins
Where are you letting your pain control you?
What would it take for you to change your mind about the reason you’re experiencing that pain?
Think of a time that you were crushed by pain, and a time you were catapulted by it. What was different about the way you approached each situation?
When you experience pain (not “if” but “when”) how will you answer the question, “How will I respond to this?”