Episode 132: Energy Vampires

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Summary of Main Ideas

Today we’re talking about vampires.

 

Not the ones that wear capes and suck blood, but a different kind. Energy vampires.

 

Everybody has an energy vampire in their life. It’s those people who suck the energy out of the room with their negativity and bad attitudes. They’re so focused on what’s wrong that they drag everybody else down with them.

 

I recently had a coach reach out and ask what do you do when your best player is an energy vampire? When things are great, they’re amazing. But when things aren’t going well, they’re a nightmare.

 

What do you do with an energy vampire?

 

From a 1:1 Level

You’ve got to help them see what they don’t see. If you go simply tell them, they may not believe you or might not get it because they’re defensive. They’re already in a negative headspace.

 

Rather than coming down on them, come down to where they are. Ask questions like “Tell me about what’s happening? What’s going on with you? How do you feel the energy of the team is? How are your actions impacting the rest of your teammates?”


Show them that though they’re intending to help the team, they’re actually dragging the team down because the way they’re behaving is a direct result of not having the right tools to deal with their frustration. Kicking, cussing, & throwing helmets are the best tools they have.


It’s up to you to help give them better tools.

 

From a Team level

At some point, you’ve got to speak out and say there are certain things we don’t do. It doesn’t matter if you're the best player or the worst, or a coach or an equipment manager. You show that no person is above the standard. Nobody is exempt from the rules and the code of conduct.

 

You’ve got to put the tam above the individual

 

At 2Words, we have the 3X rule. If someone is doing something that upsets you, and you can’t resolve an issue 3 times by saying it to yourself, the 4th time you’ve got to say it to their face.

 

We all have those energy vampires in our lives. It’s your job as the coach to help give them the tools to quit sucking the energy out of the room.


Quotes

“Positive energy and positive people create positive results. There is certainly a lot of negativity in the world and choosing positive energy helps us deal with the negative people and negative situations that can knock us off course.” Jon Gordon

“An energy vampire can never “steal” energy from us unless we consciously or unconsciously permit them to.” Mateo Sol


Reflection Questions

  1. Who are the energy vampires in your life? Is it you?

  2. What are tools that you could give the energy vampires in your life to help them?

  3. What are the ways in which you may be being an energy vampire without even realizing it?